


50. I Think You're Beautiful

by Guardian_Rose



Series: 100 Ways To Say I Love You [50]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 19:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17813810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_Rose/pseuds/Guardian_Rose
Summary: “What’s up is that I’ve called all three of you Lightwoods numerous times, I’ve searched the whole Institute, I checked my apartment and it took calling Raphael to ask if he knew if Simon was with you to finally find out that you left on patrol hours ago! And now, it’s you picking up my boyfriend’s phone not him, so excuse me for wanting to know what’s going on.”There was a moment of silence wherein Magnus listened to nothing but his own harsh breathing. Jace had moved far enough away so that the club couldn’t even be heard. Magnus dug his fingers into the edge of the desk to stop from doing something stupid like hanging up before he knew where they were when a sudden low whistle made him jump slightly.“That was impressive, Magnus, didn’t think you had that in you.”“Then you don’t know me very well.” He snapped. “Where are you? Is Alec okay?”***It's Magnus and Alec's anniversary at last, the long awaited day of Magnus' return. But it isn't the happy reunion either of them had longed for.





	50. I Think You're Beautiful

“Alec! Finally, I’ve been calling for-” Magnus froze, lips still forming silent words. “Alec? What’s that- Is that music? Are you in a  _ club _ ? Alec?” 

 

“Magnus!”

 

“ _ Jace _ ?” 

 

“Indeed!” The thumping, tinny music dropped down a notch in volume as if Jace had left the room. “What’s up?”

 

Magnus frowned, tapping his fingers against Alec’s desk on which he was perched. “‘What’s up’? Seriously?”

 

“Uh, yes?” Jace asked, sounding bemused which just fueled the frustration Magnus was trying hard to stamp down on. 

 

“What’s up is that I’ve called all three of you Lightwoods numerous times, I’ve searched the whole Institute, I checked my apartment and it took calling  _ Raphael _ to ask if he knew if Simon was with you to finally find out that you left on patrol hours ago! And  _ now _ , it’s you picking up my boyfriend’s phone not him, so excuse me for wanting to know what’s going on.”

 

There was a moment of silence wherein Magnus listened to nothing but his own harsh breathing. Jace had moved far enough away so that the club couldn’t even be heard. Magnus dug his fingers into the edge of the desk to stop from doing something stupid like hanging up before he knew where they were when a sudden low whistle made him jump slightly.

 

“That was impressive, Magnus, didn’t think you had that in you.”

 

“Then you don’t know me very well.” He snapped. “Where are you? Is Alec okay?”

 

“By the Angel, Magnus, he’s  _ fine _ !” 

 

“Jace?” A second voice, distant but coming closer, the sound of a door closing. “What you-”

 

“Put him on the phone, Jace. Now.” 

 

“Who’s that?” Alec again.

 

“I’ve gotta go.” Jace said and Magnus quickly opened his mouth to argue back when he spoke again. “Not you Magnus, I’m talking to Alec. Alec, go back inside. You’re meant to be letting loose.”

 

Magnus scoffed at that. His boyfriend letting loose? In a club? Right. 

 

“Gimme my phone first.” Alec’s voice was louder now, more petulant too, like he’d been drinking.

 

“You can have your phone back when I’ve finished talking to Magnus.” 

 

“But I wanna talk to Magnus!”

 

“He doesn’t want to talk to you.” Jace sniped, clearly exasperated. 

 

“What the hell, Jace!” Magnus snapped, almost missing the wounded noise Alec made in the background of the call and the slam of a door further off. “If you don’t tell me where you are, right now, Jace, I swear you won’t-”

 

“Jeez! Fine! Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll text you the address.”

 

***

 

The club was packed. Not one that Magnus had ever been to before but he’d heard of it, unsavoury rumours of the sort of people who frequented it. He had to practically fight through the crowd on the dance floor, swinging arms and grinding hips to the pulsating beat that seemed just a bit off. A little off-pitch. He pushed through into the bubble between the dance floor and the bar at last. Jace was nowhere to be seen still but there, sitting on a bar stool bent over a drink with stiff shoulders, was his boyfriend. Leather jacket, worn trousers, no weapons in sight. Patrolling had just been a front then, probably created by Jace, to get them out drinking. Alec had probably been dragged along by Jace or otherwise tagged along to look after his brother. He felt the tight ball in his chest relax, easing at last. He took a step forward. And froze. 

 

A man, similar looking in age to Alec with blue streaks in short blond hair, took the bar stool next to Alec and proceeded to run a hand up Alec’s arm to rest on his shoulder a touch too companionably. Far too companionably. Alec shuffled to the side a little but not enough to dislodge the hand which tightened in response. Magnus frowned, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He took a deep breath. Then another. Then, when Alec downed his entire drink and still hadn’t brushed off the man, took the final steps to close the distance.

 

Magnus cleared his throat behind his boyfriend. “Alexander.”

 

Alec jumped and turned in his seat, finally making the mystery man stop touching him. For a second. The man simply stopped whatever he had been saying and clasped his fingers round Alec’s wrist still resting on the bar. Alec didn’t seem to notice. He was swaying ever so slightly, and his eyes looked red like he’d been crying. His smile was only momentary, quickly falling away into a sad, tense line. 

 

“Magnus…” Alec breathed, his eyes seemed to be scanning him up and down as if he wasn’t going to be real. How much had he drank? 

 

“Can we help you?” 

 

Magnus had, for a blissful second, forgotten about the other man. He tore his gaze away from Alec’s and glared at him. 

 

“You can’t, no. But I have a couple of questions my boyfriend can answer.” 

 

The man raised an eyebrow but let go of Alec and merged away into the crowd without further prompting. 

 

“You’re back?” Alec asked at last, only just loud enough to be heard over the music. “You’re- You’re late.” Alec jabbed a finger into Magnus’ chest.

 

Magnus shook his head and pushed away the accusatory finger. “No, I’m not, Alec. You’re drunk and we’re going home. We’re not discussing this here.”

 

“You are! You  _ promised!” _ Alec whined and pointed again so Magnus tucked himself under Alec’s arm and pulled him up from the stool, unsurprised when Alec couldn’t really keep himself upright.

 

***

 

The apartment was as Magnus had left it. Every door open wide from his search for Alec earlier but otherwise covered in a thin coating of dust. Magnus had portalled them into the living room and deposited Alec on the couch, gently. Alec protested faintly and moved to stand up again but Magnus sent a soft burst of force to press him back and a verbal warning not to try anything stupid like walking. Magnus popped into his study and rifled through one of his cupboards until he found what he was looking for. He poured some into a glass and handed it to Alec who drank it without hesitation. 

 

Magnus slowly lowered himself to sit on the edge of the coffee table, facing his boyfriend who was now frowning at the glass. Magnus reached for it and pried it out of Alec’s fingers, pushing it out of the way behind him on the table. Alec’s eyes were clearing quickly and Magnus watched as Alec tensed, clearly realising he was now sober and remembering why he’d needed a sobering potion as it was. 

 

“Alexander.” Magnus said softly, reaching forward again, this time to grasp Alec’s hand in his own but Alec jerked his hand away, wrapping his arms around his stomach and tipping his head back to look at the ceiling rather than at Magnus. Which, he had to admit, hurt. A lot. 

 

“You’re late.” Alec said at last, still gazing up at the ceiling. “You promised me. I thought- I- Izzy said that you’d be there, that you lo- liked me too much not to. I believed her.”

 

Magnus pulled his arm back. “Alec. I didn’t break my promise, I would never do that to you. Izzy’s right, I’d never.” 

 

“You promised you’d be here for our anniversary. That you’d be here for today. And you weren’t. I waited all day for you and I called you but you didn’t pick up. Again. Like normal.” 

 

“Alec. I’m here. I’m right here.” Magnus leaned forward, shifting to balance on his toes so he could reach forward and take Alec’s hands, slightly surprised when Alec let him. “It’s still our anniversary. I’m sorry you thought I wasn’t coming, I’m sorry. I got back as soon as I could.”

 

Alec finally looked down at him. There were tears in his eyes, not yet falling but close. Magnus didn’t know what to do. What to  _ say _ to make this better. 

 

“Talk to me, Alec. Tell me what you’re thinking, please, so I can help. So I can fix this.” He squeezed Alec’s hand and smiled, tired as he knew it looked. 

 

He seemed to think for a minute. Two minutes. Three. He closed his eyes. And began to talk. 

 

“It was stupid. I was stupid. I’m sorry.”

 

Magnus shook his head. “No, no. Alexander. Whatever this is, it’s not stupid if it matters to you.”

 

Alec opened his eyes again. “Can’t we just let this go?”

 

“Please, Alexander. Please help me understand.”

 

“I thought you weren’t going to come back, okay? Or that you would and you’d break up with me or something. That you’d find someone who wouldn’t send you messages when you’re busy or someone who could spend forever with you like you deserve or just someone who’s  _ confident _ . You know?” Alec took a shuddering breath, looking down at their joined hands as if Magnus was about to let go, though in reality that was the furthest thing from Magnus’ mind.

 

“Oh, Alexander. I’m so sorry I left for so long. I should’ve visited more or just taken you with me. I’m sorry.”

 

“Tell me why you went. Why couldn’t you tell me? I thought- I thought we told each other these things.”

 

Magnus took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly, to give himself time to think. But he was a beat too long as Alec leaned forwards and pulled his hands free to gently cup Magnus’ cheeks, lightly, almost as if he wasn’t truly there. Like the touch of a ghost. 

 

Alec’s voice broke with his next words, the tears starting to fall silently. “I’m sorry I wasn’t enough but I hope you’re happy, Magnus. I hope you find someone who makes you happy.”

 

Magnus felt the pain of the cracks in his heart flit across his face before he could compose himself and cover Alec’s hands with his own, relentlessly locking Alec’s eyes on his. “Stop. Stop, Alec. Don’t you dare let go right now. I listened to you. Now you listen to me.”

 

“Alexander Lightwood. Alexander Gideon Lightwood. You make me happy.  _ You _ . You are enough. By the Angel, Alec, you’re so much more than enough.”

 

“That’s,” Alec cut in, voice almost numb and toneless, “a Shadowhunter saying.”

 

Magnus huffed a laugh, turning slightly to press a kiss to one of Alec’s palms. “I’m clearly spending a lot of time with you. But never too much. I missed you every second of every minute of every day. I missed sleeping next to you. I missed your laugh and your smile. I missed your bitching about Jace and I missed getting to hold you and kiss you. You are more than I ever expected, Alexander. I hate that I let you forget that, that I haven’t been here to remind you.”

 

“Stop.” Alec said, shaking his head futilely. “I told you I was being stupid.”

 

“You are not stupid for having insecurities, I’m stupid for not having realised they were hurting you. That I was hurting you. And I know I still haven’t answered your question. I didn’t tell you where I went because I didn’t want to...to put pressure on you. I went to see an old pair of friends because they needed my help with something. A project one of them’s been working on for years. He’s a warlock too. And long story short, he’s been working to help keep his husband alive as long as he is. To make him immortal too and I neither wanted to put any expectations on you or give you false hope; though I see that they may have been too presumptive.”

 

Alec had been nodding along, had fully locked their fingers together but lowered them to rest on their pressed-together knees. “Did you do it?”

 

Magnus smiled, chuckled a little at the memory. “Yes. Yes, we did. One day, if you want, I could take you to meet them. I think you and Arthur would get along well.”

 

“I- I think I’d like that.”

 

They smiled at each other for a moment, in a welcome moment of peace. 

 

“Listen, Alexander, I think you’re beautiful. I think you make me the happiest I’ve ever been and if I can make you feel half as happy as you make me, I will live in peace. Content. With you.”

 

“Of course you make me happy, Magnus.” Alec encouraged Magnus to sit next to him on the couch with a tug and a sweet kiss. “If you don’t believe me, just ask Jace or Izzy or Max.”

 

Magnus leaned in for another lingering kiss. “I believe you.”

 

“So...we’re good?” Alec asked, still hesitant but a smile growing more and more radiant by the second to the point that Magnus couldn’t, and didn’t want to, help grinning back.

 

“More than good.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for sticking with me for so long, it's taken me longer than I'd hoped to be happy with how to end this little plot line.
> 
> So! Question time! Did you guys like the plot line? Would you like to see more plot lines in this series? We have 50 more to go so we've got plenty of time to incorporate more! Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Comments welcome! Especially prompts (no NSFW) <3
> 
> Come find me at [TheWordForest](https://thewordforest.tumblr.com/) <3 for original work and writing ramblings!
> 
> All mistakes my own, no beta


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